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اين Post را Elvis Moris در زمان
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اين Post را Elvis Moris در زمان
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After a hard day at work, I finally come home, kick off my shoes and happily greet my boyfriend as we ask one another about our days. But when it's my turn to do the talking, I find myself conversing with a nodding, "uh-huhing" blob that is tuned into the television or computer and tuned out of everything else.
A nuclear bomb could hit and he would be frozen in time with his eyeballs glued to the screen. Although not all men do this, there are many out there who do. It's strange.
As I finally get ready for bed, and tiredly trudge to the bathroom one last time, I begin to squat, expecting to find my accommodating seat, but I find nothing but a cold, ceramic rim, and clumsily struggle to get back up. Thanks honey.
But TV hypnosis and the forgotten toilet seat are but a minute part of the annoying things that men do in relationships. Here are, by popular demand, nine common things men do to irk their women. Take note, and please do your best to steer clear of such mistakes.
1- The orifice phenomenon
You burp, you fart, you spit, and -- the king of all orifice abilities -- you fire some wicked snot rockets. These habits are unwelcome, plain and simple. If women walked around all day spewing phlegm while belching and leaving behind a few SBD (silent-but-deadly) intestinal gasses, you would be grossed out too. Go to the washroom. Keep your private little habits to yourself. We do, don't we?
2- Adjusting the privates
I'm not talking cars here. I'm talking about those precious parts of yours that you just can't seem to keep away from. They won't go anywhere. Don't worry. And if you have to scratch, be discreet. Women aren't immune to the occasional itch either, but you don't see us reaching up under our skirts for a quick fix. Again, use the washroom. (I can see it in the papers now -- "Men being fired because of increased bathroom breaks").
3- Listening... when you feel like it
What's with the selective hearing? Is there something in your brain that acts like a filter, and only grabs your attention when an interesting word comes up, like food, or sex, or anything that has to do with you? Or is it just a lack of interest in what we have to say?
I know women can be chatty, expressive creatures, and go on and on about this and that. But men just have this ability to pick and choose what they hear in a conversation. Maybe all discussions need to be geared more toward, "Threesome. Take the trash out."
4- Tuning out
This one is my favorite. Where is it that you go exactly? I am quite curious to know because I'd love to go there sometime. You all look so content and focused, like nothing else seems to matter. Women, on the other hand, can't help but have at least ten things going through their minds at all times.
It's frustrating that you can simply wander off to wonderland and not have a care in the world. But until women master that skill, we will only be content once men start paying attention to what we have to say.
5- Leaving a trail
Whether it be taking a shower or preparing a meal, cleaning the yard or working on a project, men have this tendency to leave a long line of items behind them wherever they go. From clothes leading to the bathroom when you're about to bathe, to dishes and pots and pans to "help out" with dinner, women can always tell where you are and what you've been doing. Is it to facilitate finding your way back? Maybe you're taking certain fairy tales a little too far.
6- Clippings and shavings
If you walked into the bathroom to find tampon wrappers and little bits of leg and armpit hairs everywhere, you would probably find it somewhat bothersome. Well, when we find those miniscule pieces of beard shavings stuck to the rim of the sink, or nail clippings on the floor, it's not only unpleasant, but extremely annoying. Clean up after yourself.
7- Unobservant, plainly stated
It's funny how many of these "habits" seem to overlap and coincide. Not noticing our new haircut or dress is one thing, but men need to see past themselves and pay more attention to the women in their lives.
Who cares if there's a new rug in the living room or she's wearing a new scent, right? It's not really that important in the grand scheme of things, but it's these little details that make life fun and exciting. So open yourself up to the insignificant things. It may be quite a substantial investment in the woman you love.
8- The "I'm sick, take care of me" syndrome
It seems that most guys tend to turn into complete babies when they get sick. They whine, they complain, and nothing is ever "right." Your woman doesn't mind taking care of you, but instead of whining, why don't you try appreciating what she's doing for you?
9- The wandering eye
There are certain men who have the magic lazy eye, and casually glance at other women just long enough so that their girlfriends don't catch them.
Then there are other guys -- the ones who carelessly whistle or holler at women walking down the street. But the majority of men, try to be tactful in eyeballing, but just can't seem to pull it off.
They are googly-eyed -- like a cartoon character -- and are extremely noticeable. Reevaluate your body language tactics. Quit freezing in your actions to look us up and down, and stop walking into people because of your rubberneck. Learn the fine art of discretion.
Women are quirky too -- don't get me wrong. I could've gone on and on about women's annoying habits as well. But if we're a little more aware of what the opposite sex knows about us, maybe it'll help alleviate all the superficial suspicions we have of one another.
I can say from personal experience that if my man just stopped tuning me out for a stupid computer game, I would probably have less reservations toward the damn machine. And if men would stop picking their noses and scratching their... parts in public, then maybe I wouldn't feel the need to wash my hands as often as I do.
Nevertheless, both sexes would do well to stop annoying each other once the honeymoon phase dies down. And if you would agree to stop ignoring her for the television, maybe she'll stop doing something that annoys you just as much. We have to work together, right.
Wait, what's that I smell? Oh, come on guys...
مرجع: http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_60/68_dating_girl.html
این البته از دید برخی خانوماست مثل مادر عروس!!!
اين Post را Elvis Moris در زمان
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اين Post را مریم در زمان
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Top 10: Annoying Things Women Do![]()
By Shawn Croft
Men love women. The way they look, smell, walk, and talk are just some of the reasons why we consider them a divine species. Yet we can't live with them, and we certainly can't live without them...
...for the most part anyway, because perfect, they are not. And upon serious analysis, I've discovered the top 10 things women do that drive men to the brink of insanity.
| Number 10 | | |
Pretend to be virtuous
A recurring theme among many women is that they try to place themselves under a "holier than thou" light, never admitting that they fooled around or dividing their number of boyfriends by five. Now, we applaud those ladies who truly are innocent and pure, but the rest should stop trying to water down their past. Women are allowed to have just as much fun as guys, and they should find a man who can appreciate that.
| Number 9 | | |
Criticize other women
Why is it that many women can't make a simple compliment toward another woman? They love to nitpick about everything from weight to hairstyle and everything in between. Only a woman will notice if another woman's shoes don't match her purse and turn it into a calamity.
Granted there are some women who are readily willing to admit when another woman is hot (and hopefully invite her over for a ménage), but most don't want to distract their men with any competition. Nevertheless, we spot the hot ones anyway.
| Number 8 | | |
Act jealous
Oftentimes, just mentioning another woman's name can spell the end of your existence. Imagine, then, the warfare you'll have to endure if she finds out you were at a gentleman's club.
Call it what you will, but a lot of women have this thing that causes them to second-guess everything, especially their man's loyalty. That's why when another female enters the equation in any way, shape or form, she tenses up. If you've given her reason to doubt you, then her paranoia is likely justified. Otherwise, you shouldn't have to pay the price because she's feeling insecure.
| Number 7 | | |
Become needy
Some women have some serious security issues. They need their men to hold them, rub them, and tell them how special they are. They turn men into their emotional crutch and look to us for moral, mental and emotional support.
There's a real irony here when you think of all the women who go out of their way to show us how independent they are. These are usually the same women who become extremely insecure once they finally fall in love. Of course, as tempting as it may be to use this to our advantage, I think most men would prefer the tougher version. This way, they'd at least retain some peace of mind.
| Number 6 | | |
Speak in code
The old "What are you thinking?" question is a timeless example of how women love to test their men and search for our true feelings about them. They hurdle obscure, theoretical questions at us that, according to them, we're supposed to know the answer to if we're really their soul mates.
What a pitiful sight it is, seeing a guy tense up as his mind goes into overdrive, looking for the right answer, while his lady looks on from a distance with her arms folded and foot tapping. At this point, there's nothing left to do except throw an answer out there and hope we don't end up in the doghouse.
She's in your space, she won't shut up, and the mother of all annoying things...
| Number 5 | | |
Invade our personal space
Women have this instinctive tick that makes them want to groom us anytime they want and make our personal belongings theirs.
In other words, when they're not adjusting our tie for the umpteenth time, they're rummaging through our drawers, looking for a sweatshirt to change into. Am I the only one who sees a problem here? We all know that there would be hell to pay if we so much as thought about giving them a haircut or sorting through their stuff, so why is it that our turf is fair game?
| Number 4 | | |
Become too emotional
They cry over anything: a sad movie (or even a happy one), a broken nail, or a haircut gone awry. What's worse, they expect us to clean up the emotional mess. And if there's one thing we suck at, it's dealing with a crying woman on our shoulder.
It's not that we're insensitive, but aside from saying, "There there, sweetie," we don't know the first thing about comforting a woman. The fact that women are usually more delicate and vulnerable is great; we just don't want the steady stream of tears for every minor setback.
| Number 3 | | |
Shop till they drop
When it comes to shopping, there just aren't enough hours in the day for most women. Whether it's browsing, window-shopping, or an all-out spending spree, they can spend hours on end in a shoe store, among others, without even thinking about food, water, or any of their responsibilities.
But what's worse is that they have to take us along for the ride. So there we go, from store to store, wandering aimlessly back and forth while they inspect every article of clothing by their respective price tags.
| Number 2 | | |
Talk incessantly
Chris Rock nailed it when he said that asking how her day went renders a 45-minute conversation. Most women love to talk, and if you give them the ammo, they won't stop. It's not that we don't care about what they have to say; it's just that we don't need to hear every minute detail.
| Number 1 | | |
Use sex as a weapon
In the war of the sexes, it's all about who wears the pants in the relationship. Oftentimes most women, in an effort to show their superiority, will attack men's universal weak spot: sex.
And while I applaud them for this gutsy tactic, they really should leave the basic human needs alone, don't you think?
| learn to tolerate |
In the grand scheme of things, women's annoying habits aren't that bad. Chances are you'll adapt to them in time, as will she when it comes to your annoying tendencies. Nobody's perfect, and I think that's something we can all agree on.
اين Post را Elvis Moris در زمان
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اين Post را مریم در زمان
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1 - براي همديگر وقت صرف ميكنيم.
2 - به همه ميگويم كه دوستش دارم.
3 - براي قدرداني از محبتهايش، نامة عاشقانهاي برايش مينويسم.
4 - در جمع از او تعريف ميكنم.
5 - وقتي غمگين است سعي ميكنم ناراحتياش را بفهمم و او را درك كنم.
6 - هميشه در اتفاقات خوب و مهم زندگي او را سهيم ميكنم قبل از اين كه ديگران چيزي بدانند.
7 - در همه مراحل زندگي باهم برنامه ريزي ميكنيم.
8 - همواره مراقبش هستم و به نيازهايش توجه خاصي نشان ميدهم.
9 - آرامش را در همه حال حفظ ميكنم.
10 - باورهايم را نسبت به او همواره حفظ ميكنم.
11 - پس از به پايان رسيدن روزهاي پرتحرك، شبها همه چيز را برايش تعريف ميكنم.
12 - اولين كسي هستم كه تولدش را تبريك ميگويم.
13 - به كارهايي كه برايم انجام ميدهد توجه ميكنم و قدردان محبتهاي او هستم.
14 - ازدواجمان را از موهبتهاي الهي ميدانم.
15 - براي سلامتياش صدقه ميدهم.
16 - در يك مكان يادداشتي محبتآميز برايش پنهان ميكنم و او را راهنمايي ميكنم تا پيدايش كند.
17 - در همه لحظات زندگي با گذشت رفتار ميكنم.
18 - سعي ميكنم كه هميشه سرزنده و شوخ طبع باشم.
19 - كارهايي كه نشان دهندة محبتم نسبت به اوست برايش انجام ميدهم.
20 - هرگاه از او خيلي عصباني هستم به نكات مثبتش هم فكر ميكنم.
21 - اگر احساس كنم از وسايل شخصياش چيزي كم دارد ولي خودش نميخرد، حتماً برايش تهيه ميكنم.
22 - همه هدايايي را كه به من داده است، از صميم قلب دوست دارم.
23 - هميشه دل آرام يكديگر هستيم
24- نهایت عشقش را حس کرده ام و به مرحله پرستشش رسیده ام
25 – در نهایت عشق با تو یکی شدن را به هنگام عشقبازیهای شبانه چشیده ام
26- در نهایت سختی و نا امیدی برای رسیدن به هم مبارزه کرده ایم
27-درسخت ترین شرایط هیچگاه به هم خیانت نخواهیم کرد و یکدیگر را ترک نمیکنیم
پس ما عاشقانه به پیروزی خواهیم رسید
اين Post را Elvis Moris در زمان
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اين Post را مریم در زمان
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اين Post را مریم در زمان
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| مرکز مشاوره : چه نوع کامپيوتري داريد؟ | Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? |
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| مشتري : سلام، من «سلين» هستم. نمي تونم ديسکتم رو دربيارم | Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. |
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| مرکز : روي آيکن My Computer در سمت چپ صفحه کليک کن . | Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. |
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| مرکز : روز خوش، چه کمکي از من برمياد؟ | Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? |
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| مشتري : سلام، عصرتون بخير، من مارتا هستم، نمي تونم پرينت بگيرم . هر دفعه سعي مي کنم ميگه : «نمي تونم پرينتر رو پيدا کنم» من حتي پرينتر رو بلند کردم و جلوي مانيتور گذاشتم ، اما کامپيوتر هنوز ميگه نمي تونه پيداش کنه ... | Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... |
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| مشتري : من توي پرينت گرفتن با رنگ قرمز مشکل دارم ... | Customer: I have problems printing in red... |
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| مرکز : الآن روي مانيتورتون چيه خانوم؟ | Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? |
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| مرکز : و الآن F8 رو بزنين . | Helpdesk: And now hit F8. |
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| مشتري : کيبورد من ديگه کار نمي کنه . | Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. |
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| مرکز : رمز عبور شما حرف کوچک a مثل apple، و حرف بزرگ V مثل Victor ، و عدد 7 هست . | Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. |
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| يک مشتري نمي تونه به اينترنت وصل بشه ... | A customer couldn't get on the internet. |
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| مرکز : چه برنامه آنتي ويروسي استفاده مي کنيد؟ | Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? |
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| مشتري : من يک مشکل بزرگ دارم. يکي از دوستام يک Screensaver روي کامپيوترم گذاشته، ولي هربار که ماوس رو حرکت ميدم، غيب ميشه ! | Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! |
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| مرکز : مرکز خدمات شرکت مايکروسافت، مي تونم کمکتون کنم؟ | Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you? |
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| مرکز : چه کمکي از من برمياد؟ | Helpdesk: How may I help you? |
اين Post را Elvis Moris در زمان
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اين Post را مریم در زمان
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اين Post را مریم در زمان
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اين Post را مریم در زمان
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اين Post را Elvis Moris در زمان
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اين Post را Elvis Moris در زمان
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